chronicles of she

minutiae

2012-02-15T09:28:00.000-07:00

in hopes of spring

2012-02-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

"the world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful" -ee cummings

to jared's demurral and to my dismay, we spent a large portion of the weekend travelling in our car in the snow/rain/slush. and jared did basically all of the driving. even though i was the one who originally scheduled all our weekend plans, i think it was me who held up the worst amidst our busyness. that's how it is with school and work too. i often bite off more than i can chew. and jared is the sound one who's wise enough to know it's too much, yet bears with me through it all.

so eighty dollars later our car saw the likes of utah from ogden to logan to ogden to bountiful to ogden to provo to ogden again. whew! catch all that? i'm enjoying the fact that i'm not in a car, that we have almost no commute to work and school this week, also our comfortable couches, being freshly showered, and watching my husband sleep peacefully on the couch. there is something so calming about a sleeping person in the room with you, baby or otherwise. am i right? here's to a rejuvenating week of work and school. i hope i meet new people, catch up with school and do better with my job. by friday of last week it kinda felt like i was behind on everything. at least our house is clean, right? and lastly, let's pray i finally squeeze in some time to work out. i feel like a completely different person when i'm working out and when i'm not. i ate some junky food this weekend which is really slowing me down. here's to a new week!

ps. i rarely post quotes on the blog for fear of being wrong on the author or the quotation itself. if someone finds an error, please feel free to let me know!

jared // love week

2012-02-12T21:46:00.000-07:00

i'm thinking about all the reasons i love jared. and they are so very many. i see the world differently. being in love with jared is a gift. he's not a slob. he's not lazy. he's the hardest worker i know. he takes so much pride in being an honest, good person. i drive him to the most extreme limits and he's like this patient boy who never snaps. i honestly don't understand it. he's not blaming or critical. he's just so warm and good.

last friday we were in the computer lab finalizing a paper just before class and i can't even remember what was the matter or what we were talking about but he just said, "stop i want you to listen to me. if we weren't married i'd propose to you right here in the middle of this library i love you that much."

..................................................................

how do i get you alone?

2012-02-11T11:45:00.000-07:00

the james family is so incredibly amazing. they are all so talented in so many ways. i headed up to logan last night to spend some time with lindsey and was lucky enough to see anna perform this little ditty. i just can't say enough good things about this family. they are so beautiful to look at. they are so kind and genuine to be around. you just feel at home with them. i love them. i'll share some more on them another day. but for now, watch anna rawk the stage in front of 1500 people.

six minutes NOT wasted

2012-02-09T22:17:00.002-07:00

i don't know what i love more, 90's prom, the fact that lance bass and danielle fishel went to prom like they weren't the biggest celebrities of their day, or that tyra featured this couple and this story on her show? or the fact that it was perfectly normal that they were in a committed relationship and didn't have sex and everyone was just ok with it? or that she gave him a friendship key chain on the tyra show? or just that they were still good friends after it all? and i don't know who i love more, lance, tyra or danielle? oh and you guys have to watch this, just for good measure. the cheesiness of it is making me so happy.

dutch shoes

2012-02-09T13:39:00.004-07:00

this little fridge magnet was the only souvenir we brought home from aruba last summer, besides sunburns. with the dreary february weather outside, these yellow shoes are little reminders of summer and sunshine and the new season just around the corner. oh and who knew aruba was settled by the dutch?

@fun

2012-02-08T01:03:00.000-07:00

i just want to preface this post by saying that @ournameisfun is following me on twitter. and also that i've been meaning to blog about nate ruess for probably two months. there have been long drives that clarified life and distressing times that were filled with tears over his voice and his musical creations. yesterday i was thinking about how different my life would be if he never made music. i truly can't even imagine what it would be like. it's like imagining if jk rowling never wrote harry potter or if your best friends parents never did it the time they conceived them. (come on, we've all had that thought.) it's just unimaginable what life would be like without it.

.......................................................................................................................

ok. so i'm driving home from work last night. it's pitch black outside. the steering wheel is freezing cold. i'm shivering and don't have any gloves. i'm ready to be in pj's and eat dinner. i flip on the radio only to realize the ipod is dead. i've listened to the format the entire life of the battery; from the time it was last charged until it died. all me. all format.

i reluctantly switch it over to radio and punch the first radio setting. it's x96. and all at once my mind is blown because out of the speakers i hear the angelic voice of nathan ruess. NATE RUESS. nate ruess. his tantalizing voice sparkles from the radio.

never in my life have i ever heard his voice on the RADIO. and after listening to the compromise a thousand times, the last thing i ever thought i'd hear on the radio is his voice. i tried to remember all the lyrics the entire way home but because i was so overwhelmed i couldn't remember any of them. i was planning to come home and write a post similar to this one but i didn't want to without knowing the song i heard.

THEN--this story takes an eventful twist! jared is messing around on his guitar tonight when all the sudden he starts singing the song from the radio last night. so i'm like "what is that SONG?!!!!" and then he's all "i heard it on the radio today and i couldn't understand why nate ruess was coming from the radio? was it fun? was fun on the radio?" and i'm all "me too! i heard fun on the radio too! fun is perfect!!!!" and then since he remembered the lyrics and could come up with the song on the guitar by ear (really jared? that was so michael of him!), we searched the lyrics and found this song.

so let it be known that this entire blog post has been a giant plea for you to stop and watch and enjoy. please be touched by nate's haircut. his voice. his passion. the fact that the disco ball never breaks because that would just be too jt-esque. gooooooo gooo gahhhhhhh.

campus

2012-02-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

jared and i pranced around campus today // he has the day off! // he helped me with a project.

we're dreaming of: buy a kitten; moving to a new apartment; finally owning a good looking bookshelf; getting a fresh crank for jared's new fixie; and eating lunch. OH also! we are featured on catherine's blog today. awesome, right? how's your tuesday going?

mia

2012-02-05T20:22:00.000-07:00

hey guys, sorry i've been a little mia. jared and i are taking english 2010, and we are pulling out our hair, to say the LEAST. i'm like the jim in this situation. jared is like the andy. and our professor is like the dwight.imagine have dwight as a professor. and now imagine my i-could-care-less attitude. and then add jared's yes-ma'am-certainly-can-do attitude. i'm on the verge of pranking our professor by putting her stapler in jello.

and as my last effort to excuse myself from not blogging (not that blogging is a chore, it's more of a positive outlet that should take priority in my life), i've been horribly sick. like lay in bed all day and wimper kind of sick. yet i've had none of that, even over this weekend because our schedules are so busy. sometimes i wish it could be the summertime in high school when you had little to no responsibilities. i love our jobs and going to school, but i just wish we could blow it off whenever we wanted. like it was optional. does anyone agree?

jared and i have been debating, would it be ok to buy me a macbook air with student loan money? how many huge purchases can you justify making with student loan money? can i even do my major without one? come on, now really? since my lappy has been down and out for a month now, the whole sharing a computer thing just isn't working--especially taking an english class together. which is funny because sharing a car is seamless for the two of us. what are your guys thoughts?

for now, this week i'll be healing up my body, hopefully making it back to the gym, eating food that grows out of the earth, and looking forward to our tax returns (righhhhht?)

oh yeah, and it's already february. the month of love. complain fest over and i'm out.

the last supper

2012-01-31T14:16:00.000-07:00

two day ago my family got together at my parent's house for one last sunday dinner in their home. they are moving on saturday, and i had to let myself say goodbye for the last time. marsha made her famous lasagna and asked us to share our favorite memories of our home. i was looking around at the walls and the cupboards and seeing the scratches on the paint and the places where the wood is warping. every little part of that home holds a memory from my life. before the sun knelt down in the sky i took the camera out to the backyard and tried to capture it's magic.

our backyard is one place that is packed with cherished memories. jumping off the deck onto the trampoline and playing power rangers. playing steal the flag with all the neighbor kids. having sleepovers in the treehouse and freaking out to boys throwing rocks at us in the middle of the night. napping on the hammock in the treehouse throughout all the years. reading in the treehouse. parties in the treehouse. getting pizza delivered to the treehouse. sledding down the hills in the winter time. burying cinnamon, our very first family dog back there. going exploring with a magnifying glass through the ground cover. endless hours swinging on the tire swing. setting up a tent and camping out back there. finding my dad asleep in the backyard every night in the summertime. talking into the middle of the night on the hammock on the deck. junior high parties on the trampoline and finding your bff holding hands with her crush since seventh grade. sucking the nectar out of the purple wildflowers, whether age 5 or 20. picking raspberries from the neighbor's bush.

i never realized how much of my childhood was spent out there. i learned how to be a kid back there. i learned how to let loose and be free. to use my imagination. i learned that the world is a huge place and yet there are endless discoveries in my own backyard. its january, and our backyard is mostly dead. i wish i could've captured this place in the summer when it is booming with life and color. but these images will suffice. sunday was a sad and happy day. we said goodbye to the past and opened our hearts to say hello to the future.

breaking news!

2012-01-28T17:27:00.002-07:00

1. i have a phone again! yes, the rumors are true. this has been an iphone weekend. for the last month jared and i have been sharing his first generation, cracked screen iphone. let me tell you, tag teaming it definitely gets old. jared is a hero for basically going without a phone for so long and never once complaining about it. so finally this week i snapped and last night i went out and bought myself an iphone 4! say whaaaaaaa. needless to say i'll be rehooked on instagram like a fat kid after fat camp. on a more serious note, i feel sooo spoiled and like i don't deserve an iphone 4. can anyone relate to me? i'm so close to trading it in for a flip phone out of guilt. is this a sign i'm growing up? or just more financially responsible for my life? i'm not quite sure. on top of the guilt i feel like i need to get jared an iphone 4 as well. i actually hopped on ksl and bought one for him from some guy?? and later found out it cannot be unlocked for his network at all. it's like apples and oranges, it just wouldn't work. (i discovered this after spending five hours on youtube and dowloaded three different potential viruses to his computer..oh did i mention my computer broke down the day before my phone broke?, of course! poor jared!!!!) so today we headed down to slc and sold the pretend iphone 4 to some other guy?? and my old phone for a pretty penny and now we're about twenty bucks the richer, not including the gas money it took to get there or our very valuable time. which brings me to this moment, where i'm contemplating getting a weekend job to save up and buy him an iphone 4. i'm half joking and half serious. your thoughts?

2. our family kind of received some gut-wrenching news a couple weeks ago. could you keep our loved ones in your prayers? i'm sorry to be so vague, but i don't know where to begin or end. let it suffice to say i hate drug abuse and i hate addiction. could someone find a cure for them? side note, did you guys see THIS?

3. and lastly, for two months in a row jared and i have been lucky enough to be featured by ms. jenni of jenni-austria-germany. today she is sharing our wedding video and honeymoon video. go take a look!

just made this display for our bathroom. it is so inspiring to see in the mornings. what do you guys think?

slow down a little

2012-01-27T17:40:00.000-07:00

i've been feeling exhausted as of late. between english 2010 (which is kicking our trash!), work, keeping the house clean (and it's not like we have kids, i can't use that as an excuse at all. especially since laundry hasn't been done in weeks!), i've been feeling pretty zombie like lately. well today as i was perusing the pinterezt, clicking 'follow' for all the gnome boards in existence, pinterest gave me a little slap in the face. up popped a message that said:

you have exceeded the maximum rate of users followed. slow down a little.

i was pretty surprised because, doesn't pinterest want you to follow and pin like crazy? also, i had to laugh to myself that five pm on a friday night i am on pinterest looking at gnomes. and getting an error message that i'm taking it too far. but then i kept thinking, slow down a little. i think its a sign from the universe. i mean, tonight i had a to-do list a mile long, just like the next girl. but who cares? i'm going to take a breath and relax. i always have tomorrow.

nostalgic

2012-01-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

i was cracking myself up today as i chased these little duckies around campus. trying to take these photos i thought they were all going to be awful, but these edits make me feel all nostalgic.

myself

2012-01-26T13:14:00.002-07:00

just hanging out in art class today. taking pictures of myself in the mirrors and reflective surfaces. jared is working today and i miss him so much. all i can think about is what i want to eat for lunch and giving him a hug and taking pictures of magic and making a gnome out of clay. what are you guys up to today?

ogden

2012-01-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

i love the city we live in.

forest gnome obsesh fest.

2012-01-24T14:18:00.002-07:00

i had a gnome nightmare the other night. an evil spirit had possessed a gnome's body so you wouldn't expect it and then he was expelled (exorcised?) from the gnome and the evil spirit came after me and jared but we were protected by an all glass diner that was ghost proof. the evil spirit was sooo scary to look at. i don't even want to describe him to you. ok i will. he was sickly looking with deathly black eyes. his outside was mirror-like and he was shaped kind of like gumby. it was sooooo scary i woke up in a panic.

also i went crazy and spent about thirty bucks online for gnome paraphernalia. (not any books, though!) however i am sooo excited to make a gnome terrarium with my online findings. my friend casey from work is connecting me with her brother who is selling his gnomes for $5 each. i am thrilled. i also painted a picture of a gnome because i couldn't sleep. what is wrong with me? i feel like i am being called to write gnome novels or maybe gnomes are real and i'm tapping into their world. someone help me please. i love gnomes.

purchases.

2012-01-24T13:49:00.001-07:00

oh..did jared and i buy three packages of lil smokies over this weekend? why yes, yes we did!!!!! not only that, but we bought a couch, a nice nice couch and we are becoming real people who own things!!!

birthday gift alertttttt!!!!!

2012-01-22T19:11:00.001-07:00

i want this book and this book sooo much.

don't they look amazing?
also this and this.
and if you're feeling really giving, these.
p.s. this is my 444th post!!!

what makes me feel beautiful

2012-01-20T16:14:00.000-07:00

i owe it to a cup of jo for sharing this truly beautiful article on her blog yesterday. you should definitely consider clicking and reading because it will warm your heart on this cold winter day. lately i've been acutely aware of my love for marriage; i believe in it and i defend it. i'm so lucky to be in a marriage full of love, respect, compassion, forgiveness, commitment and understanding
jared and i, last summer. photo by kate benson

special feature!

2012-01-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

today our wedding video was featured by bride access!
go take a look!

healthy is happy.

2012-01-18T18:54:00.000-07:00

i just love this approach to health. keep is simple guys.
{img via}

a rash?

2012-01-17T22:40:00.001-07:00

i've never had real health struggles in my life..so even though this rash on my ear is nothing, it's a big deal to me. after struggling with this ugly thing for over ten years, i finally got some validation tonight when i was checking my symptoms on intermountain healthcare's website.

the sad truth is that i guarantee if i go talk to one of their doctors, i will get the same response i've received my entire life. read: a prescription for neosporin or maybe something with a steroid that will only make it worse when i stop using it. there is no real cure!

so tell me, do you guys have any weird health issues, particularly that just don't seem to go away?

wordless.

2012-01-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

oh. my. gosh.
i just don't even know where to begin.
the most adorable blog i have ever seen.

reshare

2012-01-16T22:29:00.002-07:00

amazingness.
perfection.
fire.

fisheye magic

2012-01-16T21:24:00.001-07:00

biiikez

2012-01-16T20:54:00.000-07:00

we ride our bikes to school and sometimes even to work. lately we've been riding nothing but fixed. we love our bikes. (i know jared's bike is a hundred times cooler than mine!)

christ.

2012-01-15T14:26:00.000-07:00

my feelings today are centered on christ. he is all i want to talk about. he is our savior, our redeemer, the one who calms our terrified souls. christ is the one person we can always rely upon. i love walking home from church basking in sunshine. i love how the spirit fills you with light. its so great and all encompassing. human tongue cannot describe the feelings within your soul when you're close to christ. it's so warm. i find the simplest words do the best justice.

i took this photo a couple weeks ago at sunset and didn't edit it at all. isn't earth beautiful?

shay.jay love

2012-01-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

a few weeks ago jared and i attended the missionary homecoming of sister cindi dietz. the spirit and everything was amazing. she is a beam of light. in the middle of the meeting ayley came and sat down right by us. she was wearing the most darling bow in her hair. i'm not sure if it was the meeting or just ayley, but something sparked in me and i had to have it. naturally, i went home and ordered one for myself from her etsy shop. not only did she send me the knitted bow, but also sent a complimentary felt bow as well. when the package came, i about died over the brown paper wrapping and bright neon yarn. she also included a little package of confetti with a note that said "everyday is a special occasion!" it totally made my day. i will definitely be shopping with shay.jay love again, that is for sure.

i'll miss the playgrounds & the animals & diggin' up worms

2012-01-14T17:46:00.000-07:00

a few months ago i finally saw the film where the wild things are. i can really relate with max. his mama was focused on someone else and he felt angry and confused. using his imagination he escaped to a far away land. i love the book because it teaches us about anger and how to cope. i could relate with carol. kw had hurt him and he couldn't help but push her away. he wanted her to stay but was too angry about it. sometimes i don't know how to cope with anger and either did carol or max. yelling and hitting things might make you feel better but usually you hurt someone else that way. escaping to a far away land is a great way to cope with anger because you can heal yourself without hurting anyone. i've always been one to strongly encourage daydreaming. i think it is one of the most therapeutic and uplifting ways to spend personal time. i love seeing children in a daydream. they are so free.

yesterday i took some time to be where the wild things are. jared was at work and i headed out to the layton wetlands preserve and snapped me some photos. i stomped my boots on the ice and ran along the wooden path. i dug my heels into the snow and breathed in the sunshine. i remembered that the times in life that i've felt closest to God have been alone in nature, as cliche as that sounds. why do i forget that? i could hear creatures ruffling in the seven foot tall grass along with the occasional bird call. it was just me and the frozen cattail plants. no sounds of the highway. no billboards. no radio ads. at this point i wasn't angry anymore. i was free.

oh and since a few of you were wondering this is where i got my backpack. i love it so far.

back to work

2012-01-10T21:26:00.000-07:00

new backpack signifies that we are back to work, back to school.
goodbye sleeping in, goodbye free time.
hello homework, hello busyness.
stay, but please don't take over completely.

oh and everyone, turn on a happy song and read this post.
you'll be so glad you did.

new camera

2012-01-10T01:43:00.001-07:00

i got a slammin new camera for school and i am psyched to use it.
just give me some time to learn how.
tips?

bedtime routine:

2012-01-08T02:39:00.000-07:00

-apply bag balm to my lips and to my sad, dry, winter-in-utah skin.

-look at this picture from when jared and i froze time and first fell in love.

-read this letter jared wrote to me the night before our wedding day.

-read my favorite book//the book of mormon.

-chomp on some milk thistle seeds (mood booster, wake up feeling great).

-fall asleep to that which heals all wounds, the office.

(never mind my awful nail polish situation)

google chrome

2012-01-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

...you just won my business for life!

i don't know if i love the first one or second one more.

the dear sophie video made me commmmmmpLETELY rethink the way i use gmail.

are these videos touching or what?

beauty

2012-01-07T01:42:00.001-07:00

natalie, you've done it again. natthefatrat has a way of writing that steals up my heart.

"a few years back, as i was driving home from work, i had a silly thought that suddenly turned straight genius on me. i realized that all i really wanted was for my life to be beautiful. i wanted my home to be beautiful, i wanted my thoughts to be beautiful, i wanted my feelings to be beautiful. i wanted to create beauty in my life. if it was worth doing, i wanted it to be beautiful. life didn't seem beautiful at the time, but i wanted it to. it seemed silly and shallow, until suddenly it wasn't anymore. our god created for us an insanely beautiful world. why is that, i wondered? he created beauty around every corner. the earth, the animals, and music and art and science. all beautiful. and loving families, a passion for learning, and a sense that we can have an impact on what surrounds us--well, to me, that is beauty. and holy, for sure. so i stopped considering that desire shallow. i started to think of it as a way of honoring god, who is the one who created beauty to begin with, after all." -natalie holbrook of natthefatrat

..wouldn't you agree?
the following are images that are beautiful to me..
{img sources}

things i learned from friends

2012-01-04T18:04:00.001-07:00

i've never understood why people have new year's resolutions to watch less tv.

i know this blog isn't a tumblr. but seriously, things i learned from friends.

nothing further, your honor.

hello new year! happy 2012!

2012-01-01T18:33:00.000-07:00

last night for new year's eve jared and i stayed at the marriott. when we got to the room we were surprised with chocolate covered strawberries and sparkling cider waiting for us. we flipped on the tv just in time to see the ball drop and steal a steamy new year's kiss! it was fun to sip on some cider and spread out in a king size bed! we're totes squished up in here on a tiny full size. it was the best room on the concierge level, i love you marriott.

i hope each of you enjoyed your own celebration!

i've gone to see the the new year's eve movie twice now and both times i cried. it was undeniably uplifting and feel good, which is rarer and rarer these days. two quotes i loved from the movie:

"It's suspended there to remind us before we pop the champagne and celebrate the New Year, to stop and reflect on the year that has gone by. To remember both our triumphs and our missteps - our promises made, and broken. The times we opened ourselves up to great adventures - or closed ourselves down, for fear of getting hurt. Because that's what New Year's is all about: getting another chance. A chance to forgive, to do better, to do more, to give more, to love more. And stop worrying about 'what if' and start embracing what would be. So when that ball drops at midnight - and it will drop - let's remember to be nice to each other, kind to each other. And not just tonight but all year long." -new year's eve, claire

"It’s OK to listen to your heart. I know it’s risky. Go ahead and take that leap. There are so many things you can’t control: earthquakes, war, famine. It’s important to remember the things we can control, things like love and forgiveness. Love in every one of its forms. Love gives us hope. Hope for the New Year." -new year's eve, narration

because of this movie, new year's eve is my new favorite holiday. second to christmas, of course. the holiday is not necessarily religious, yet universally we all gather to celebrate the new possibility of hope for the future. there is room for second chances and forgiveness. we really can do anything this new year, if we believe in ourselves.

2012, you are very welcome to stay a while. let's:
get straight a's in school
start a business
buy a camera
clean out the closet
keep up the yoga
buy a couch
jog daily
buy a scooter
de-junk the house
study the scriptures
travel to nyc again
start a savingz account

in 2011 i:
got engaged
planned a wedding
got married in the temple
got the best job
lived in ogden
started school at weber state
made new friends
declared a major
learned about nutrition
passed math
learned more about money
loved my husband

here's to another great year!
pssst..the inspiration for creating this banner came from this darling blogger..go check her out! now!

families are forever

2011-12-31T15:36:00.000-07:00

today i got this text message from a very dear friend of mine.

courtney davis was my mission companion. it was february 17, 2010. we were determined and unscathed despite months of slammed doors and soaking wet boots. knocking on tathy's door was nothing short of a miracle. i remember being so close to going straight back to the car passing them by completely. but the sun was shining and i was not giving up. i had sacrificed way too much to be in virginia on a freezing cold winter day to give anything short of my whole entire soul. i remember the shoes i was wearing, and the feeling of pushing them forward with my feet, one after the other. on a mission, you're fighting the most real, yet invisible battle in existence. unless you're extremely close to either God or satan, you're not aware this war is happening at all. and the majority of people aren't. they usually land themselves in a comfortable yet boring spot right in the middle. tathy wasn't one of majority. tathy was one of those special few, who was extremely close to her Heavenly Father. and who refused to believe that dipping into a pool of water, void of any heavenly connection, was enough to save a soul. tathy was waiting for us. she had been searching for years, had been prepared and seasoned by a hurricane, and for tathy, her moment of truth had come. our meeting was more like a reunion, and until you've experience something like that yourself, it's impossible to imagine the joy you feel. instant friends, my mission was fulfilled. i didn't give up. i did hang in there. i did make a difference and i did help save souls. eventually their entire family was baptized into the church of Jesus Christ. it gives me no greater pleasure than to know that this family has found the truth of God on earth, in such a confusing world.

yesterday, over a year and a half later, tathy and her very prepared family went to the temple of God, and received an ordinance that allowed them to be a family for all eternity, even after they die. let's just say i'm a proud little missionary over here in these parts today. they've worked so hard and they deserve all the happiness in the world. their family has done and will continue to do so much good in the family of God.

i just want to take a moment to say that, truth is restored to earth. i'm not afraid to talk about these things on my blog because i've done work. i've been on the doorsteps and into the homes of hundreds of strangers, asking personal questions about spirituality and learned, through my own due diligence and research, that every last one of you is searching for something. a stronger family, a purpose on earth, answers about the afterlife, or why we are all here. there is not a soul on earth who wouldn't benefit from this message about God. THIS here message.

not everyone is like tathy sanabria and not everyone wants to hear this message. i certainly understand that not everyone wants to hear this message the second it is presented to them. but, alas, i do offer my words on my blog, and if you like it, here you go! if not, it's all ok.

watch this, and then this. their singing voices are just ok, but can you feel the truth in their hearts?

and then this, just because his voice is like butter.

cheers, i'll be back in the new year!!!! have a fun and safe evening (:

don't mind if i do!

2011-12-31T13:01:00.001-07:00

oh hey guys! so guess what?
the jenni-austria-germany invited me to guest post on her blog today!
check it out..HERE! and if you're not reading her blog yet..where have you been?
she's hilarious and adorable, and is an american tromping around europe.
everything you want in a good blog right?
go there now..now..say it. do it, now now now.

alive

2011-12-31T02:45:00.000-07:00

today i did something that i've wanted to do for a long time. i went to a free local yoga class. i was alone and so was everyone else. but we were a team and a community of strangers coming together. it made me appreciate this city i live in, in such a way i'd never known. it's winter, yet it's been unseasonably warm the past few days. today, the day before new year's eve, i spent hours outside, alone, riding fixed gear on an abandoned winter break campus. the perfect breeze, not a hint of life besides the occasional over-worked, under-paid education obsessed professor. this winter photo was taken not more than fourteen days ago, and now if you looked outside you'd think it was spring. it even rained yesterday. but these paper flowers are the closest semblance to spring tulips our town will be seeing for a while. but paper flowers inside my home will do for me.

unrequited love

2011-12-28T13:07:00.003-07:00

this reminds me of jesus christ. he is the sun and we are the earth.

we can learn to be so much more like him.

everyday i need to remember this.

{img src unknown..let me know if you know}

thoughts that feel beautiful inside of me.

2011-12-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

"because if you're happy in your head, then solitude is blessed and alone is okay."
-tanya davis

i'd seen this video before, but was reminded of it's existence while perusing ayley's blog.
and suddenly while watching the video and listening to her soothing voice, i was spiritually reminded of the pleasure i feel when i'm alone. when i was on my mission there were times that i would escape to use the restroom and just be safe and alone. it sounds funny, but i could whisper profanities or pull funny faces in the mirror or dance like a crazy person, because it was safe there, and i was happy. if you don't know, as a missionary for the lds church, you are never alone, except to use the bathroom. otherwise you have another missionary companion at your side 24/7.

three summers ago, i went on a one week vacation to new york city completely alone. it was one of the best things i've ever done. it checked something off my bucket list before i knew it was even on the list. looking back, that one week was one of the best weeks of my life. there is just something so magical when you're happily alone.

............................................................

i believe that there is so much substance to our souls, spiritually speaking. our bodies are amazing gifts from God and our spirits are just as real, though unseen by our physical eye. each of us has so much capacity, so much ability, so much potential. each of us has the ability to make choices, for good or bad, for consequence or none, we can do anything with our lives. we can do anything mediocre, or great. and i'm amazed by that idea. currently i have the gusto in me to GO and LIVE and BE and DO everything i'm made to do! watch out world!

christmas at-a-glance

2011-12-26T17:21:00.000-07:00

just a pile up of instagram photos from the last few weeks..

some images from the 2011 annual case family christmas dinner {2010}

this year it was the melting pot. a first for both jared and i.

it was pretty tasty but didn't fill us up..say whaa?

purchasing christmas gifts for an anonymous eleven year old boy. great feeling.

last week i took the train to slc for some last minute christmas shopping with my mama.

just been enjoying the good things in life like the brand new brigham city temple, home-made banana splits, and hanging out with two brothers who are best friends forever.

spending time with the family on christmas day,

exchanging gifts and staring at the new grandbaby.

two big, hungry dogs and new boots from santa.

two additions to the case family: new christmas tree and a baby girl.

THE wedding video

2011-12-18T18:49:00.001-07:00

so i guess i was confused and i had the embed code all along..silly me!
david perry was our videographer, i'd highly recommend him.
he was so fun to work with our entire day,
and might i add that he bought us lunch without thinking twice about it.
and if it's asking for a password, it's Perry. (case sensitive!)

Temple Film from David Perry on Vimeo.

update: for those who've been asking,
the first song is called "I Do" by The Marvelows,
and the second song is called "I Do Adore" by Mindy Gledhill.

meek as a child.

2011-12-18T18:20:00.000-07:00

the true spirit of christmas right here.

John Lewis - The Long Wait from Blink on Vimeo.

video stills and thoughts on college

2011-12-18T15:24:00.002-07:00

today i was thinking about how much i like that jared and i both have lots of school in our future. if you combine our total credits we would still be just a freshman. we both want to get our bachelor's degrees at least, and so far we both have only finished a tiny bit of school. between a short stint in nyc, serving a mission, and bopping between jobs, i've kept myself busy since graduating high school. i know a lot of people graduate high school and dive straight into college. i think that rocks. for me, i was beckoned in a handful of different directions, and when i did go to school, it was always hard for me to take it very seriously. i think part of me always knew that my college degree chapter of life was still in the future. i've always loved school, including college, and now that we are getting into the thick of it, the timing couldn't be more perfect. in the past, whenever i applied for government financial aid, when i was still technically considered a dependent on tax forms, i got denied. straight up denied. even though my parents couldn't help me out too much, it looked like they made too much money and i never qualified for anything. now that we are married, we finally qualify for the good student loans and pell grants to help us pay our way through school. it feels so good knowing that we have a financial path for our education.

oh and did someone say wedding video?
well ours came back today.
i'm dying to share it on the blog but i'm waiting to be able to embed it properly.
so check out some of these video stills to help us both deal with the wait..
no one will be as in love with this little video as i am,
but i have a pretty good feeling that you'll like it too.
i've probably watched it fifty times and jared's been singing the songs all day.

meeeeerry christmas!!!

2011-12-17T22:54:00.000-07:00

there are only a handful of postsecrets that i relate to extremely well..and this is one of them!

MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS!

thank you to whoever sent this one in.. (:

last saturday

2011-12-14T16:22:00.000-07:00

i briefly mentioned that last saturday we stayed in all day having a lord of the rings marathon. are you thinking that we are giant nerds? yeah, we are. we both had never seen them all and the time was now. jared ran out to rent the movies and came home with some food. i have a twenty four seven year round craving for farr's peppermint stick ice cream, and saturday, it was satisfied. and for the malta, i'd been craving it since our honeymoon. they were all over in aruba, delectable. he was terrified and sat outside one of the ghetto carnicerias for a half hour just getting the courage to go inside to buy me malta goya! most people don't like malta, but it's my favorite. it's like candy in the form of a beverage. it's my favorite soda! but sadly, it's almost impossible to find, and usually only comes in expensive glass bottles. as if nine straight hours of movie watching wasn't enough, we've been spending the last few days playing a lot of robot unicorn attack. (am i just realizing now that we both are giant nerds? ohhemmgeeeee!)

i'm at work today..remember?

2011-12-14T15:31:00.000-07:00

wasn't it you who wanted to see a collage of photos of just me numbered one two three four? oh you didn't? oh? maybe i shouldn't spend so much time at work, taskless, while the entire office is torn apart. it really throws off my getting-things-done jive. you can pretend the numbers represent four reasons you're grateful you aren't as bored at work as i am, or four ways to show no teeth while looking at the photo booth camera on the office mac, or four way that i look when i'm not wearing any blush (just ran out..!) so many possibilities guys! instead of a gift guide, this image can represent four people who you should give gifts to. me, kelli, myself, and sister anderson (that's me, if you don't the mormon lingo). i should probably stop writing anything more on this post, before all followers of this blog drop like flies! so last thing, i just have to let you guys know, our wedding video is umm, on it's way! we haven't seen it yet, but just got word its almost done. six months, ain't no thang. at least we get to see it now, right? merry christmas to us! i'll share, as soon as we have it!

aaaaaaand...i know this video has been bopping all over the onlinez right now, but it'd totally be a sin if i didn't share..! this entire video..me. tell me you're not laughing right now! the chomping chips at the end just puts it over the edge, sooo funny.

"could you not do that..please?"

heavenly weekend

2011-12-11T12:45:00.001-07:00

jared and i just decided we are possibly having the best day ever. which doesn't hurt since today represents six months of marriage for us. snuggled up in bed, home from church, a bag of chocolate chips cozied between the two of us. with brand new episodes of glee, new girl, the office and modern family in the line up. truthfully this entire weekend has been the best. friday night we attended the curtis' annual christmas party, this year it was pack-meeting-themed. we each had to come prepared with a pinewood derby car and pink slips. in the photos it appears as though i'm winning jared, but in the end he won my car, even after i declared a re-match. out of all the cars jared's came in 7th. my car didn't even make it out of round 1! of course there was a white elephant exchange. we brought a toy sword and a john stockton t-shirt, and it should come as no surprise that they were the most popular. anything jazz themed will always win at a white elephant exchange. i was proud of myself for whipping together a delicious funeral potato dish at last minute. amidst all the excitement and festivities, it was so nice to spend some time with shredstin and our other friends.

besides friday night being soo hilarious and fun, saturday was spent cleaning the house and enjoying a lord of the rings marathon. i stepped outside only once to shake out the rugs from our kitchen. sometimes an entire day spent inside curled up watching movies is just what the doctored ordered. i hope you guys each had a happy weekend yourselves!

six months

2011-12-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

..of marriage!

and many more months to come.

new hair.

2011-12-08T16:06:00.001-07:00

the inner blonde has made her way back out of her shell. and she's baa--ack.

the votes were cast and ya'll said i should be blonde as crap.

jared has been telling me to be blonde forever.

ashlyn, the girl who did my hair, called me a total hair whore.

meaning that i let any and everybody lay their hand to my hair. sadly, it's truth.

but she's the one who gave me no choice but to finally put my foot down and go blonde.

and it's a good thing, because i feel like a complete babe today.

sheltered from the storm

2011-12-04T20:28:00.001-07:00

last week after the big storm all of ogden had no power. #utwind
stay home and freeze with no electricity (besides static electricity!) or stay a hotel? you tell me?
for us, it was the perf excuse for a staycation.

splashing around in the pool playing "guess-what-color-i'm-thinking-or-you-get-dunked!"
watching arrested development til 2 am and eating random delicious, healthy snacks.

getting up early enough for the free continental breakfast, so worth it.
heading to the last day of our spanish 1010 class together.
swinging by walmart to get doritos since we promised the class we would.

we were lucky and didn't have too much damage done to our home, but there are many people in our city alone that are suffering from the effects of the wind storm.
say a prayer for them, would you?

oh and guess who the government decided to give tons of cash mun-aaayz to for school?
#thisgirl! wicka whaaa?

and lastly, jared starring the role of himself. #trulylovehim

k-rad 4eva!

2011-12-03T12:40:00.001-07:00

hey, remember that one time jared and i got engaged?
and then a couple months later we got married?
so do i. just been reminiscing this year, and truthfully, it has been amazing.

the cheery christmas spirit!

2011-12-02T16:36:00.001-07:00

it's stories like these that get me into the christmas spirit!

what a brilliant man, i'm going to have to remember
this one next time i'm being mugged at knife-point!

and you just can't beat the joy of putting up the christmas tree.
our mini tree makes me giddy every time i look at it.
we wouldn't be newlyweds if we didn't have a mini tree,
but i'd be lying if i said i wasn't jealous that the jensens have two trees.
oh well, its all about priorities right?

ps, this man is inspiring to me, i want to be close to God like he is. even when i'm old.

a storm and one year.

2011-12-01T18:12:00.001-07:00

last night i dreamt that i absolutely HAD to go to the d.i to buy cross-stitch hoops, so that i could refurbish them in some way? at some point my unborn children's lives were on the line if i didn't do this thing immediately? not to mention that the other day i dreamt i had facial hair?

when i woke up this morning after the cross-stitch hoop life or death dream, jared rolled over and said "how have you slept through this wind?" i realized i could hear the sound of fierce winds (can winds be torrential?) beating against our house. the power had been out since who knows when during the night, and even at this very moment, the power is still out.

we visited cafe rio today for lunch, which seemed to be the only restaurant in town that still had power. we didn't mind, any excuse for cafe rio is ok by me. and jared bought me a tres leches cake because i have been home from my mission for one year today. one year ago today i kissed jared anderson on the lips for the first time after eighteen months. it's been a pretty blissful year.

jared is zoning into his ipod on the couch waiting for me to be done with work. i am sitting here debating if we should pile on the blankets at home with low temperatures reaching into the teens or if we should stay at our beloved marriott hotel. if we stay at home we could play hide and go seek and cuddle up all night. but really, we won't be going to sleep for another five hours or so, and the hotel definitely has a pool. so much to consider with so much on the line!!!!!

please see this iphotographic proof that today has been wack! we don't know who's car that is, but a tree fell on it and smashed it, and i felt bad for them. we totally stole that crosswalk sign out of our yard and put it in our house. i don't really know why, i've never really seen a windstorm in utah of such epic proportions and it was total mayhem.

ps, besides surprise tres leches cake, this article is the best thing that's happened to me today.

puntitled

2011-11-30T18:40:00.001-07:00

here i am snuggled up in my big white luscious bed, listening to some jules morrow. tonight i came home from work absolutely determined to write a real blog post. one that documents our life the past few weeks, makes some use of my iphone photos and makes me feel proud to be a blogger. i may not have so much to say tonight, but here's proof we've been busy with life.

so what have we been up to through my mild silence?
in no particular order..

getting our hair did
putting up the christmas tree
eating thanksgiving dinner
eating sister's birthday dinner
painting my nails
babies coming down from heaven
going on love dates with adley
wearing fake eyelashes
having scrumptious parties with best friends
visiting the science museum
discovering cavanaugh's has been remodeled. tear.
tailoring our own clothes
making pastry pear delighted delectables
drinking egg nog way back the first day the grocery store started selling it for the season
(if i had blogged that a month ago it would've been cool)
throwing snowballs
getting my nails done by little sister in law
kissing each other
sitting in the most awkward seat on all of the uta
getting student loans
paying off our tuition
registering for next semester
thinking about upcoming projects
turning hopes and dreams into reality
finalizing life goals
going for it.

hello blogging world

2011-11-28T19:12:00.001-07:00

i'm having one of those, i have so much to say, that i can't say much of anything at all type of weeks. i would like to be blogging up a storm, but my photo and mental writing track is congested right now. i'll be back in a jiffy.

avery marie case

2011-11-26T15:09:00.001-07:00

my sister-in-law had her baby today!
first grandbaby in the family!
jared and i are now an aunt and uncle!

ps. do you guys remember this part?
{the way i did the photo kind of makes it seem like there are two babies, but just to be clear, there's just one baby}

kool bike stuff

2011-11-24T17:14:00.001-07:00

jared stayed up til probably two am last night (i wouldn't exactly know though since i couldn't stay awake) watching this video and tagging the forks on his fixie bike. he thinks this is the koolest thing in the universe and so do i! what do you guys think?

Streets of Paris - Lask (TWE Crew) Graffiti Street Art from Nicolas Libersalle on Vimeo.

tmi alert! & other randomness.

2011-11-22T20:53:00.001-07:00

this morning it hit me that if someone who doesn't live here walked into our home, it would probably smell like those houses that you never would ever want to smell. you knows those homes. maybe our home wasn't at that point, but i was worried. usually we're pretty clean people, but for one reason or another, jared and i have been in and out, running to and fro, and frankly, cleaning has been last on the list. at some point, even doing the minor-clean-up-after-yourself-tasks weren't even worth it. i've been counting down until tomorrow so that i could be free to just stay at home and scrub this place down. i've already gotten to work on it and its coming along nicely.

while i'm at it, i'll continue to disturb you with my current physical ailments. what's worse than a canker sore of the mouth? a canker sore of the mouth coupled with a severely burnt roof of thy mouth, which has stubbornly refused to heal. it has been one week and one full day. sheesh. it's fiiiinally on the uphill but still limits my ability to eat. i've been avoiding meals like cray cray..which proves it is serious and i'm not just being a drama queen.

speaking of which..sunday evening my family was playing catch phrase when it was my dad's turn. he said, "ook ok..kelli is this! she's not a king but a...!" and without delay, a room of fifteen people all shouted almost in unison "drama queen!" realllllly? wake up call i guess..!

currently excited about getting this little ditty for my parent's as a christmas/housewarming gift for their new home.

also, dear pandora christmas station, since when is the "sound of music's 'my favorite things'" a christmas station? sincerely, kelli.

and for your enjoyment, some photos of the cutest engagement gift i finally got around to hanging up. (yes you read that right, i was pretty delayed in hanging them up, and publicly proclaiming on the blog my love for them.) we received these from my good friend lindsey who lives in arkansas! thank you lindsey, we love the newspaper canvas' you sent. they are perfect in our home!

love of blogging.

2011-11-22T16:36:00.001-07:00

i'm crazy about blogging. should i be embarrassed by that? i realized today that i am a bonafide read-a-holic. i love reading. i love to read books, magazines, blogs, fictional stories or books about science. i've long wanted to own a bookstore and sell all the beautiful books. i think i love to read blogs more than i like to write them. but then i start getting that itch and i can't do anything until i've blogged something. not that i think i'm a terribly amazing writer or that i'm crazy enough to think that anyone lives to read my thoughts as much as i love to write them, but at the end of the day, i'm inspired by your writing, and writing is something i love. i decided that the world of blogging has and is still on its way to completely revolutionizing the world of literature altogether. for the first time in the history of mankind, there is a platform by which a majority of the literate people on earth may use words to say how they feel, and those feelings-enriched posts may be read by the masses. the writers of the world are no longer limited to unbiased, non-opinionated journalists, nor million dollar new york times bestsellers. the successful writers of today have readers, or followers, due to their very own opinions, their very own wit, their very own personal lives. they may occasionally spell a word incorrectly or use improper grammar at times, which will not be reevaluated by an editor before being published. something the world of literature has always avoided, has actually turned out to be something so beautiful, so revolutionary for so many people. i've had this itch inside me to write, and sadly it's been put away. but here i am, writing the thoughts of my mind that i feel to be important, on my very own blog.
is there anything more beautiful than literature? tell me?
{img source unknown}

i'm grateful for..

2011-11-22T14:40:00.000-07:00

12 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING///POST #6

i'm so deeply blessed to have jared anderson as my husband. he is the best person in the world for me. he's endlessly forgiving and soo patient with me. i wanted to show jared that i loved him and that i was grateful for him. so about two weeks ago i called his work and planned a day where jared thought he was scheduled to work but really he was not scheduled. this was for last saturday. friday night i told him he really wasn't scheduled to go into work and saturday morning we went and got a couple's massage. when i first told him he truly felt hurt and lied to. kind of funny right? have you guys ever been upset after hearing about a surprise that was planned just for you? once we kept talking about it he realized it was a fun surprise and that everyone (his boss, coworkers, etc.) were in on it. then he knew it was a thoughtful gesture and knew that i was trying to show him how much i appreciate him. it was super fun to be able to spend the entire day together and enjoy a relaxing massage together, after we communicated clearly (this is still making me giggle).

i love this quote from president hinckley:
“Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you the freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley

{photo source totally unknown, found on a random file on jer's computer, most likely saved by me anticipating a post just like this}

breaking dawn movie review

2011-11-22T00:14:00.001-07:00

so like i said, we just hit up the movie theaters to see breaking dawn part one.

beware, minor spoiler alert!

i think because everything we heard was nothing short of comical,
we were expecting the very worst.
but i have to be honest, i looooooved breaking dawn.
judge me all you want, but i seriously loved it. i thought it was soo good.
plus we got five guys right beforehand, and it put me in a great mood, which never hurts right?
just sayin'.

some movie-recap-food-for-thought:
the one part that had me laughing was when jacob left his wolf pack in an angry wolf rage.
and i could see where all the critics were coming from for a second.
and bella's knobby knees had me covering my eyes, i'm pretty sure i'll nightmare about them.
the last twenty minutes are not for the faint-hearted that's for sure!
but it definitely drove home the idea that carrying
and birthing a half vampire baby ain't a walk in the park.
also, i took comfort that no matter how painful labor might be, i'll never experience that.
you're lying if you tell me you wouldn't pay money to only attend a wedding like theirs,
let alone have that be your own wedding.
and a honeymoon retreat on their own private island..? yes please!

i liked the movie. what did you guys think? does everyone think i'm crazy?

ps. i royally forgot to take a single photo all night. so instead please look at the view of our street. and be in love with the pretty fall colors. we live on a great street for fall. and i love utah mountains.

taking care of business

2011-11-21T20:37:00.001-07:00

i still remember one time i was leaving jared's house sometime back in january or february and it was reallllly late at night and the car windows were reallllly frozen. jared ran into his bedroom and threw on the cutest mod podge of articles of clothing and declared "this was called putting on his takin' care of business clothes" so he could go outside into the freeze and scrape off my car. i'm sure this story is only funny to me but i always think about it. so today we threw on our taking care of business clothes and got SO MUCH errandy type boring activities accomplished. normally today's tasks would've been really drab but running all around town and doing things such as acting like grown ups while smooth talking the loan officer at the bank, negotiating with the financial aid officer on campus and dilly dallying while waiting in line at the federal building were actually comparable to spending a day at lagoon-a-beach, having jared there with me.

and now we're off to see breaking dawn..don't worry though, we've been warned. and nothing can be that bad with jared by my side, either crying with me at the sad parts or giving me a laughable commentary.

ps. i've not forgotten about my twelve days of thanksgiving. i just have an overwhelmingly large amount of things to write about, it is taking a moment to get to it all..more posts are coming!

there are no words

2011-11-18T14:01:00.001-07:00

besides the first forty five seconds and the entire thing, i think my favorite part is at 2:08.
i just don't know.

the book of mormon

2011-11-18T13:33:00.001-07:00

12 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING///POST #5

all i cant think about today is how much i love the book of mormon. there is something so special and different about this book. if you're lost, wandering, searching but not sure what for, feel an emptiness or a void in your life, the book of mormon will help.

it is stable. it's message is clear and true in a world of conflicting, confusing messages. it is a message of a Savior, that man is not alone, that God currently speaks to His children through the use of modern day prophets and apostles.

this book has blessed and changed my life tremendously. to say this book has been a blessing in my life would be a complete understatement. i came to this understanding of the book of mormon overtime. after reading it for myself and many spiritual experiences, i've learned that this book is truly the word of God.

today, i'm very grateful for the book of mormon. for how it has blessed me, my family and millions of others on earth. i invite anyone reading this post to be prayerful about the truthfulness of the book of mormon. you'll receive an answer from God.

i've watched this video a couple times now, his story warms my heart! (:

the gratitude continues..

2011-11-17T16:52:00.001-07:00

12 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING///POSTS #3 AND #4

yesterday turned out to be quite crazy which is the reason i didn't post as part of the thanksgiving series but leads me into why i'm grateful today.

last night i went straight to the grocery store after work. i picked up a few things and when i got to my car with two arms full of groceries i searched through my purse to realize my keys were not there. i peered into the window of my car and there they were sitting, staring at me from the driver's seat.

fortunately i don't live too far from the grocery store so i zipped up my jacket, pulled on my hood, picked up the groceries and walked home. upon arriving home, i thought of the only sensible thing to do in a situation like that, which was to break in of course. there was a time where it wasn't that difficult to break into our house, if you knew the right window. but since then, jared has made our home a bit more secure and breaking in wasn't an option. i sat down, not worried about our frozen groceries since it was freezing outside, made a few phone calls and within a few minutes i was warm inside a new friend's home. i met this new friend at church and after discovering we had a mutual friend in common we decided to get together. we've only hung out twice, and calling her late at night asking to come crash at her house for an undetermined amount of time was a lot to ask. she didn't even hesitate one bit and didn't seem even the least bit put out.

after talking to jared at work we realized i had unknowingly locked both sets of keys to our house and our car, in our car. i called our landlord and with her spare key she was able to come to our house and let me back in. after spending a few hours at home i realized jared's shift was almost over. the plan was for him to walk home. at eleven o clock at night, through the worst part of town, in the freezing cold. i didn't like that idea but i didn't know what else i could do. just then my friend texted me and asked if she could pick up jared from work. i never would've asked her to do that because it was late and i knew this whole thing was my fault to begin with. but i also knew that she'd love the opportunity to give a bit of service. so i gladly accepted. unfortunately jared was busy with work and we had to wait a while. she didn't flinch a bit. she was a total angel and had no problem sitting in the freezing cold with me.

at that moment i felt very grateful. grateful for Christlike people who give of themselves to people they barely know. for a loving husband who called to reassure me that he wasn't upset and that he's done the same thing a thousand times. and i was grateful for a warm house and a car that works, and especially the groceries that i had bought. i have all the happiness in the world, right here in my heart and in my home, with my husband and our brand new little family.

the story ended with jared and i running across the street to our car that was still parked at the grocery store with a butter knife and a wire hanger and jared's awesome skillz. within five minutes we had broken into our car, avoided and any cop calls and headed for home.

so tell me, what are you guys grateful for?

{food photos are featuring a few of my current and/or long-running grocery obsessions, somewhat preceeding the gratitude.}

new hat

2011-11-16T21:50:00.001-07:00

i sold out and got a hipster hat.

i love it. i keep it on my head at all times.

its so warm and feels like a marshmallow designed for my head.

i kept describing what i was looking for to jared

and he thought it sounded like i'd have to go to the homeless shelter

haha. turns out the hat i got is called the burglar hat.

but i'm totes lovin it.

on the second day of thanksgiving..

2011-11-15T22:12:00.001-07:00

12 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING///POST #2

today i'm grateful for life.

too vague? watch this inspiring video.

ALL EMOTIONS ARE BEAUTIFUL.

JAM

2011-11-15T21:48:00.001-07:00

is it shameful that this made me cry?

"he said that you told him how much you love me,
about how you feel when i walk in a room,
and about how you've never doubted for a second
that i'm the woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with."

on the first day of thanksgiving..

2011-11-14T17:35:00.000-07:00

12 DAYS OF THANKSGIVING///POST #1

today i'm grateful for my sister.
for not letting me leave the pool at the hotel when we visited
disneyworld before i learned how to swim on my back.
for always being two steps cooler than me and older and smarter than me.
for introducing me to the hanson brothers when i was ten.
for never letting me get a big head and teaching me that drinking diet coke is cool.
for reading celebrity autobiographies with me on the beach in mexico.
for being the only person i wanted to talk to when i was distressed in the mtc.
for being obsessed with n'sync and backstreet boys in elementary school.
for being obsessed with the format and trs and mat kearney and mason jennings with me.
for helping me pick out my outfit the day jared proposed
and making sure i looked hot without letting me know he was going to do it.
for doing my hair in french bun's when we lived in arizona.
for being so nonjudgmental all the time.
i lub you sis and i'm grateful for you.

{dated halloween 2007. pic found on my myspace page. yes i still have one. no i don't use it ever. yes i would if my friends would tho.}

memories

2011-11-13T16:19:00.001-07:00

last night jared and i spent some time at my parent's house cleaning out my things. we brought home two big garbage bags and three tubs of memories to our itty bitty apartment. my parents are moving. did i ever tell you that? they have to sell their house. it's not one of those, we're old and rich and moving into a cozier house situations. its one of those some guy embezzled our retirement money that we just invested type situations. too much information about my parents? sorry. the good news is they happen to own another home that they're moving into. that's not the sad part. the sad part is saying goodbye to my childhood home. it's like i'm really saying goodbye to my childhood. i held onto the idea of being a teenager for sooo long. and now i'm a real adult, saying goodbye to a home full of memories.

so the past few weeks have been quite melancholic to say the least. they've lived in that house for more than 30 years. my dad practically built that house back in the seventies. no other family has lived there but us. currently it is just my dad and stepmom living there now, but there've been times when every room in the house was occupied. which is saying something since there are eight bedrooms. not to mention four bathrooms, one drinking fountain, two washers and three dryers, one recently remodeled kitchen, one mudroom-engraven wall listing everyone's height throughout the years. practically every kid who came through the doors of my parent's house stood up against that wall and got their height measured. they are saying goodbye to one beautiful duel level backyard, complete with a double high treehouse that my dad and brother built, accompanied with a hammock. a beautiful wooden deck, four sky high poplar trees, and a view that's worth more than they're selling the house for alone.

i remember waking up really early one christmas morning. i was probably six or seven years old and it was probably five am. i snuck downstairs with brittney and nate and we peeked into the living room. the christmas tree lights were plugged in and the sight was beyond any child's wildest dreams. santa had come. it was one of my dad's more affluent years and with nine kids they had done quite a bit of christmas shopping. the couches were all stacked high with gifts and it would've been impossible to touch the tree with all the christmas gifts surrounding its branches. it was one of these kinds of christmas mornings. we snuggled up on the sheepskin in our parent's room waiting for the older kids to wake up.

i could go on with memories of my home growing up. that one food fight. steal the flag in our backyard. sleeping on our trampoline. sleeping in the treehouse. cleaning the house saturday morning. teenage fights. birthday parties. sunday dinners. jared meeting my family there. the "newcomers" living at our house. brittney, aaron and amber ripping down the eighties wallpaper while the parent's were in europe. family scripture study. watching tv til 2 am with brit and talking about first kisses. building a snow igloo in the front yard. playing the piano for hours. getting scared in the storage room. always being in a dizzy haze in our basement hallway. harley. always endless delicious food. painting my old bedroom again and again and again. driving up 1875 north and breathing in the safe feeling of home.

my entire life that house has been my only physical constant. everything else has come and gone, but that home has always been there for me. between moving in and out eight different times throughout my college years, wanting to move out as a teen, or whenever i've gone abroad, it's always been there beckoning my return.

this feels exactly like the scene on you've got mail when kathleen kelly is standing in her then empty bookstore reminiscing childhood memories. "it's a lovely store and in a week it'll be something really depressing like a baby gap." that's exactly how i feel today, kathleen. just after the holidays some young, well-deserving family i'm sure will move in.

katrina had a dream that we walked through each room of my house and cried. and harley said goodbye to her. hahaha. but how depressing is that? it is sad.

but please don't walk away feeling depressed. because even though my parents are leaving our house, this is only the beginning of their next adventure. God cannot close a door without opening a window. and truthfully, we are all onto much better things with this startling change of ours.

goodbye, home. i never knew how much i loved you til we had to leave you.

thanksgiving series

2011-11-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

hey guys, i'm so excited to introduce this to you.
i will begin a 12 days of thanksgiving series on the ol' blog beginning tomorrow.
i have so much to be grateful for, between my beautifully healthy body,
my testimony that Christ lives, and the food that resides in my cupboards,
i am very blessed.

i'm a sucker for cheesy youtube videos.
try to watch this and not let it melt your heart.
and then go share your wealth with someone in need.
people are people, and people need love.

...stay tuned!

this is for kat and lst

2011-11-10T21:14:00.001-07:00

you'll always be lst to me linds!

click here.

koooool huh!!!!

hey vance

2011-11-08T20:21:00.000-07:00

love you, miss you.
i wonder all the time about you.
sometimes i'm tempted to think..where would you be today?
how would life be different?
what about the holidays and sunday dinner?
our family is so different.
i never knew you were meant to leave us.
i would've lived life different.
you were about my age when you left us.
i can't believe its almost been seven years.

but i know you are busy over there.
today after my workout i was looking at the grass
and felt the breeze. and thought about how nice it is where you are.
this place is dreary. it really is. i want to be a forever family.
i hope you're getting the help you need. i'm sure it's hard.

it's so much easier to stuff feelings than it is to feel pain.
and every so often i left myself be sad that you died.
even though we live blessed lives, we are sad without you.
christmas is always a blue christmas without you.
marsha misses you so much!
i hope you believe in Christ and that He is helping you.
we all need Him.

found some old photos the other day.
and i've just been thinking about ya.

love you, miss you.

i'll always be a grown up kid.

2011-11-08T19:05:00.001-07:00

-gas to drive across town to the beauty supply store: $10

-a bottle of fanci-full temporary dark hair color: $6

-the time it takes to apply the product and style hair: 2 hours

-not to mention: black under finger nails for days,

black boogers, tiny black specks all over the bathroom,

having to scrub hair for a half hour before it was back to normal.

freaking your husband out after work: priceless

later we were just chatting and he said "ok i just can't wait any longer, merry early christmas!" then handed me a gift. i ripped it open and it was the very she and him christmas album. i'm soooo excited to listen to it all season long! this was so thoughtful because last week i wanted to buy an old record player at the d.i. so i could get the she and him christmas album and listen to it over the holidays (totally copycatting the jensens). but we didn't end up getting the record player. so jared being the amazing thoughtful guy that he is went ahead and ordered it for us. i love him. let the season begin! yankee candle holiday flavors, peppermint soap from bath and body works, the eddie bauer store, skiing, snowboarding, weekend at the huntsville cabin (i say it like i own it), lindsey visiting, caitlin visiting, gift giving, holiday treats, christmas parties, thanksgiving, turkey bowls, i love it all! happy tuesday!

what a wonderful world.

2011-11-06T22:30:00.001-07:00

i've cut and copied full posts from ayley's blog before. and i'm doing it again. it's just simply too amazing and she's just too good at capturing the exact word's from my heart, that my mind hasn't quite conceived yet.

sometimes,
the beauty of everything keeps me up at night.

i just don't want to close my eyes on the world yet.
i've fallen deeply in love with this pretty place.

the flowers, the seas, the animals, the moon, the stars,
the way the wind picks the leaves up off the ground,
the way you can almost smell the cold air.

the daily sunsets & sunrises,
the sound of heavy rain,
the way trees stand tall above me.

the sound of running water,
the smell of cinnamon,
little squeaks in people's voices.

the way the floor boards creak in my house,
the light streaming through window panes onto my sheets,
the way my hair feels when i let it hang down on my back,
the sound of laughter in the next room,
the way my muscles pull and knead when i take that first stretch in the morning,
the silly surprise of a sneeze sneaking up on you.

these things seem to ride through my senses
and into a simpler place inside of me where i have no barriers, where love is unending and pure,
a place where i believe in everything and know nothing at all.

an entire, wonderful world exists beyond the apparent and the regular,
a world far more beautiful than what meets the eye.

be still,
let it surround you.
just let it swallow you whole.
let these splendors pierce you and fill you with a hunger for more.

this world is mine,
it is yours,
it is ours.
we own this world.

aren't we lucky?

...........................

yes, ayley, we are (:
welcome, winter. you came without much notice. but you're beautiful so, i'm not arguing..yet.

ps. can't stop laughing at this video. "we're the giants of this land" and "i swear dude i'm just gonna kick you so hard, and your girlfriend will be like please dont hurt him much more, can i kiss you and i'll be like sorry babe." and his hang gestures. oh kyle.

religion and politics

2011-11-06T17:23:00.002-07:00

i've talked religion on this blog, very many times. that's because my religion is a big part of me. well i'm going to take a very small moment to talk religion and politics, and hopefully not scare too many of you away! i first have to say that normally i'm a toby (click here) when it comes to politics, but today i was reading up about politics and made up my mind a bit more. by no means do i want to come off all-knowing, because let's face it, i know so little about politics. but since this is my blog, i'm going to share my two cents.

i just think that everyone has problems and far too many people expect someone to swoop in save them from their problems. it is way too easy to blame the president or the other political party or the local mayor for personal problems, and why you aren't happier or more successful in life. too often i hear complaints that "the government isn't taking care of its people and their healthcare", "the government is making it impossible to get a job", "its all the republican's fault", "its all the democrat's fault".

i believe that God is overall and that the path to happiness, health and success lies in keeping His commandments for yourself, regardless of the period of time you live or what country you were born in, if you were blessed to grow up in America or not. i'm grateful for our country and i've been so blessed to live here.

truthfully i feel like most people that run for presidential office, regardless of political party, are pretty good people, who are truly trying to help our country. it's so easy to blame just one person for all the problems we face. problems that are much larger than one individual. if politicians, ranging from obama to romney, were as evil as they were made up to be by their opposing candidates, we'd be looking at husseins, stalins and hitlers potentially running the country.

but honestly, are we? i don't think any of us, no matter how much we might disapprove of the way the country is currently being run, would say that about our president. i think the best thing our country has going for it right now is the constitution. a document inspired by God, it has carried our country through it all, and i would say is one of the main reasons why we do have good people in office trying to do their version of good things all over the country.

i realize that i'm talking politics on my blog and i expect to hear any sort of controversial comment. i'm not asking for it by any means, but i'm just stating that i'm aware not everyone will agree with me. and that's ok.

and that's all i have to say about politics for right now.
p.s. and this last one is just to break the ice.

i expect a comment from anna, katrina, brissa, ayley and jules.

this is a heart-soup post

2011-11-01T23:06:00.000-06:00

what do i mean by heart-soup post? i mean this is a little bit of everything that is going on in my heart today, all stirred together into one.

"still all my song shall be 'nearer my God, to thee'"

i am excited to read jared's dad's blog post because i love everything about jared including his dad. i can't wait to go visit his family again. they are just people, very nice, but ordinary people. but jared, he's mine. he's my sweetheart. my husband, my soulmate. my eternal companion. he is my guide in life, keeping me grounded. he is my safety, my laugh attack, my cry my heart out, my never leave me. he's my motivation, my patience, my hardwork, my adventure. i don't want to ever find myself announcing to a crowd, over the pulpit for the first time in months that i love him. i love him, so much. i love him today. i love him whisper in the ear, call him at work, wake up with one thought in my head love him.

i know i've only been married for five months and people say we are still newlyweds and just give life a bit of time on us, but i know i'll always love him. i will alwaaaays love him. i'll fight him somedays. i'll bicker with him somedays. i'll blame him for the problems inflicted upon me in childhood, push him, fight and scream. tell him he doesn't love me, tell him not to apologize. i will often make mistakes, say the most wrong thing i could say at the most wrong time i could say it, use poor judgment at times, and worst of all, sometimes i'll be too wrapped up in my own self to slow down and be considerate enough of him and his feelings and end up saying something very mean that i won't mean.

i'll do those things. i can say this because i know that i'm not perfect and i also know myself. but what i can also say is that i will alllllllways love him. when waters calm and lake becomes glass again, we take a breath and recoop, when we've restabilized ourselves, i'm washed over with abundant love for my husband. i love the way he talks. i love his face when he eats his favorite foods. i love when he is in a hurry for work and when he prepares for the day by having fake conversations with customers in the mirror. getting married to jared was by far the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><><><><><><><><><><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

there's more on this, but not enough time now, however let is suffice to say that i've always wanted to be a mother. i can't wait to show God that all he's done for me in life i'll use to raise kids. i will be the most dedicated mother ever.

i love Jesus Christ so much and all i want in life is to serve Him. tathy sanabria called me today and told me she got her temple recommend. to be endowed, and sealed to her three children together as a family. for time and all eternity. i still remember the day i received my temple recommend. i don't remember even really telling anyone that i was going to get it. it was just what everyone expected and what was supposed to happen. a formality. but i do remember walking in my parent's front door with it in my hand, stepping into the kitchen and being washed in gratitude for everything that paper signified.

i knocked on tathy's door for the first time in late february 2010. i was confident and determined to share the gospel that day. david answered and asked "tathy!!! do you want to become a mormon?" minutes later we were in her home drinking lemonade and i think at the sound of david's voice she knew her life's pursuit thus far was at an end, that God was there, that the prayers she'd prayed for years, at that moment, were answered. has it been a battle since then? absolutely. but she's known. i know she's known. i'm so proud of her. she's been so faithful to Jesus Christ and so patient through tribulation.

i'm eternally grateful for my mission and the lessons i learned about Christ and his Atonement. i know that it is real and to feel it in my life is everything i want.

to be close to God is everything i want in life. i'm inspired to do more service for others. to forget myself and remember why i'm alive.

these are the thoughts of my heart today. hope you enjoyed my mixed and jumbled soup-post.

can you believe it's november 1st?

2011-11-01T18:09:00.000-06:00

i really can't. halloween--it was fun this year. the bowl of candy for trick-or-treaters was eaten only by jared. hardcore trick-or-treaters, what happened to you? also, please notice my makeup is all disturbed from kissing my husband on the lips! <3

my autumn harvest soup was a triumph. last year at this time i was still on my mission. we had a ward party where i ate the most amazing vegan autumn harvest soup and since then i'm pretty sure i've been craving it everyday. so now that all the appropriate autumn vegetables are at peak season, it was the perfect time to get them a boilin'. note: my soup wasn't entirely vegan but pretty close.

the quick low-down: boil approximately 4-6 cups chicken stock, chop a fresh zucchini and a yellow squash and throw them into your pot. in a separate pan add some olive oil and a chopped onion. sprinkle some minced garlic after a few minutes. saute until slightly brown, you'll lose the color in the soup but you're bringing out the flavor. add the garlic and onions to the boiling pot. slice your cherry tomatoes and throw 'em in. slice them to your liking. for me, i just sliced them in half, they balance the textures. chop up the kale to your liking (i prefer larger cuts of kale) and toss it in. sprinkle garlic powder, italian herb seasoning, and i added some kelp seasoning as well (less likely to have on hand though). i had some leftover spinach quinoa from sunday's dinner (think: one grocery store package of spinach; pureed, garlic, tofu and soymilk mixed into and cooked with 1 cup quinoa flour, 1 cup raw quinoa seeds) i threw it into the soup like i would brown rice. and last but not least i added about 2 tablespoons of unsalted butter. i let it simmer for about 15-20 minutes. end result: pure fresh deliciousness. i didn't try this but i imagine seasoning it with parmesan, feta or even fresh mozzarella would be divine. jared didn't dare to try it but i think that's because he has a limit on the amount of healthy food he can intake at one time. next up on my list: french onion. anyone got any killer french onion soup recipes? bonus if its vegan or veganish. not that i'm a vegan. i'm just trying out vegan living and that includes vegan recipes i guess.

also, today at work my friend was walking out the door and said "kelli come down to my car with me i have something for you." who doesn't get giddy when they hear those words? i was so excited. we got to her car and she pulled out a cardboard box full of fresh-picked apples and pears from her trees at home. she has an acre of farm land, and often tells stories about her goats and chickens. what a daydream! completely natural. completely organic. completely free. completely gift given and full of love. it was the best moment of the day second to jared dancing around the house right out of the shower (yep, naked). my happiness still abounds. i barely made it up the elevator before sinking my teeth into a crispy, sweet and sour fresh apple. who doesn't love days like these? november 1st, you're always welcome in my life.

ps. thank you so much for all your advice and well-wishes for my oncoming cold. apparently a bowl of soup and your kind thoughts went a long way. i think i pushed that oncoming cold right out of my life because i'm feeling great today!

post post script. newer readers, have you read my very brief autobiography? i updated it a few months ago.

happy halloween

2011-10-31T18:59:00.000-06:00

tonight i'm at work listening to this song and killing time until 7:30. our office is a ghost town (pun) seeing as it is halloween night but i'm still scheduled in case the phone rings. my best guess is that it probably won't ring. but alas i'm still here. jared just came over so i'm not all alone. he's studying for his business class and i'm browsing autumn harvest soup recipes. i'm leaning towards this one. after work we'll spend our night at home together watching a scary movie (think: ghostbusters, young frankenstein, hocus pocus, etc.) eating soup and answering the door for trick-or-treaters.

i've got an illness coming on so right now all that sounds good is soup or to sip on a soothing herbal tea. what are your best cold remedies?

beautiful heartbreaks

2011-10-29T17:40:00.001-06:00

i want to thank you for your thoughts and prayers and sweet comments for my friends.

i would be completely sefish if i didn't take a few minutes to write about this. the things that are hard in life, call them trials, challenges, setbacks, disappointments, etc.. are only blessings for us. the sun doesn't stay up day and night, or there would be no night. the good times will always let up for harder times, the sunny sky will eventually fade to grey. but the beautiful part is that the darkness doesn't last forever. it will always pass. if we choose to be valiant and noble during the difficult times, we will be blessed even greater when the sun comes back. when i chose to come to earth i knew this. and Heavenly Father has never left me alone, even when i've made terrible mistakes. getting married i knew this. i know that jared will always be there for me, even if there are grey clouds. he will always be the person he promised he'd be. i know he'll always love me and support me. i'm so grateful for trying times because it makes the times that are sweet soo much better.

i love this video. it is so beautiful. i'll always be inspired and amazed by the story of nie. she's the perfect example of persevering through stormy times.

today

2011-10-28T13:54:00.000-06:00

jared and i both have the day off so we're spending time (i love him.) together riding bikes and watching the new episode of the office. happy weekend of halloween!
{img by anna james}

like crazy

2011-10-27T15:18:00.004-06:00

do you guys remember this post? i've been reminding jared about it every day since i first discovered it and well the movie comes out tomorrow and i can't find anywhere in utah that is showing it. help!

ps. random: jared and i decided today we are drawn to seattle. we can feel it calling us there. just saying. also, jared got a $60 tip yesterday. wicka-whaa?

christmas list

2011-10-27T12:04:00.000-06:00

i'm dreaming of hanging this poster in our home. i've long been a reader of twf and have dreamt of this for a long time. maybe this will be something that i can 'surprise' jared with. guess the surprise is over starting right now.

jared is so sweet and hasn't forgot about the things i've said i want for christmas. i'm so excited to go christmas shopping for him. we shared christmas together last year, but this year will be so memorable because its our first being married. we are our own little family!

have you thought about christmas shopping yet? what's on your list?

p.s. i understand some people just get straight up nauseous hearing so much about christmas prior to december 15th. if that's the case, you've been warned. between now and your selected date when it begins to be ok to hear christmas music and christmas things, i'll probably be talking about christmas non-stop.

who me? yeah, me.

2011-10-26T22:14:00.000-06:00

oh i've just been listening to christmas music tonight. to warm up my toes and my soul on this chilly october evening. and can i just say that zooey deschanel is so going to be the frank sinatra and billie holiday for our children's time. that classic sound that warms your soul and makes any moment nostalgic and filled with magic. perfect for christmastime.

its amazing what a hot shower and soothing music can do to heal you on the inside. also i'd like to include a pack of candy from your husband that he bought for you while thinking of you, where all the proceeds go to charity.

this has been the week of bad news. not really for us but people around us. someone's wife struggling with cancer. another's husband is cheating. friend's car was broken into. we drove past a huge crime scene investigation. a random customer breaks down sobbing on the phone that her husband of twenty years is addicted to pornography and its destroyed their marraige. and you really can't turn on the news without feeling awful about what you hear.

i'm appalled at the stark contrast between the things that are good in this world and the things that are bad. more and more there is hardly any middle ground. it breaks my heart to see so many awful things happen to people i love. would each of you please keep a special prayer in your heart for these friends of mine? they need your prayers.

for me, i'm so grateful for my loving husband. today he showed me his true character and it made me feel so warm on the inside. he's one of the most forgiving people i've ever met. i honestly believe it is deep in his soul and that was part of who he was before this life. because it comes so natural to him. i couldn't ever live without him. did i mention that i love him? because i really do.

anyways, enjoy some zooey.

bright hues of green

2011-10-24T17:53:00.000-06:00

today jared bought me a pair of pants that fit my legs like a glove.
they are the most stunning color of green. i love em.
really we went to find some pants for him.
and we left with something for me instead.
i feel bad because that always happens.

today we also bought some break cable housing and new brightly colored chains for a couple of bikes we picked up this weekend. i'm excited, they look awesome. did i ever tell you jared is really good at bikes? he is. he fixes them up in no time and they always look awesome. he has the most incredible ideas that always work out. really. i have an impressive husband, and i love him. a lot. i think he's finally starting to believe everyone who tells him that he should sell them for real. i'm excited for him.

oh and ps. jared keeps mentioning how i should change my hair to platinum blonde. i truly love my hair the way it is, but if you take a look at my track record, i'm all about changing it up and it has been a while. yay or nay?

sunday evening.

2011-10-24T01:13:00.000-06:00

tonight i saw the coolest blog and it didn't have dot blogspot or dot tumblr or dot anything. i asked jared "can i buy a..custom domain url?" (which i said as i read off the screen, after googling "how do i remove the dot blogspot from my blog.") jared asked "how much?" i said "ten dollars." he said "ok." then i ran and grabbed my wallet. haha and that is the story of how i got suckered into purchasing a custom domain url. it is not appearing on the blog right now..at least on my computer..but i bet its just a small technical difficulty and should be up and running very soon. i figure i spend enough time looking at blogs and time is money, that i might as well just get rid of the dot blogspot and then i would feel really super cool about my blog.

in other news, i've recently become infatuated with the idea of purchasing a sectional (after adley came to visit last week i realized they were the first reaaaal visitors to spend time at our house. while awkwardly sitting on the floor a light bulb went on and i realized normal people buy furniture to sit on when they live in a home. and later while we were snugly scooching together all on the one tiny couch, the decision in my mind was basically made. after learning a little about rc willey and their wicked awesome great deals on couches i decided we had to buy a couch. i'm still convincing jared of the amazingness of this idea of mine. i'll keep you updated. for now enjoy some photos from my iphone.

jared and i battling like jedi knights in the middle of the d.i. love jared's oversized d.i. purple 3 wolf 2 moon shirt.

no these are not notes being passed between me and jared at church. yes these are notes being passed between jared and his new bff at church.

witch's luncheon with my mama and cousins. happy october.

the one post where i'm asking for you to comment.

2011-10-20T18:34:00.003-06:00

it's safe to say i'm not alone when i say that i am not perfect. i went to lunch with miss jules today (which served to be divine for the both of us, i hope. and where she told me about her new song, and we talked about loving our imperfect selves.) and despite how many times i reminded myself beforehand to instagram it up until the sun don't shine no more, i utterly and completely forgot to take even one iphone photo. not one. no, it did not matter that i drove quite a long distance to see this dear friend, my mind could not remember to tell me to take a picture. (i was so intent upon taking pictures because last night jared and i had this conversation. me: "hey jer, have you noticed that my blog is starting to go downhill lately?" (a question that was more like a set up, really. i'm awful!) to which he replied: "way." i decided it was time to make a change. however i'm not entirely sure this post will help much with that...)

to make matters worse (how could they get worse, you ask) i forgot to bring along the book i borrowed from sara, months ago. M-O-N-T-H-S, that spells months, i tell you. not only that, but my debit card declined. sitting there, after the most pleasant of lunches, it declined. i DID just barely deposit a check, but could the bills have already blasted through the check that i so lovingly deposited? yes, yes they did indeedy. last night, i talked to jared about making such a long drive (you see, in the life of a very-poor-owe-all-our-greatest-assets-and-firstborn-child-to-our-school-of-choice, its good that we check with each other and approve of such a drive). basically, together we decided that i could go under one condition. that i remembered to get the oil changed this morning before going. well i'll tell you. my morning was eventful, filled with showering, make-up, trying on new clothes (thanks $5 sale at rue), but was it filled with oil changing and things of the like? i answer you, that it was not. i remembered to take my husband to school, and even pushed back lunch so i could spend a few more moments with him picking him up from school. you see, these are all wonderful things that i remembered, but oil-changing of the car was most certainly not included in the things that i remembered to do this morning. well after weeks of the oil light coming on and off, and pouring quarts of new oil into our car, we decided that our car couldn't risk a big drive without being changed. there wouldn't be time to wait around to have the oil changed. it was either cancel lunch or get the oil changed, orrrr dump another quart of oil into the car. we stopped by the gas station and poured yet another quart of oil down into our hungry automobile and off i went. to be completely honest with you (this is my blog, where i set the rules, and honesty is welcomed. i also realize this is somewhat of a public place and i'd rather not share every last personal secret, for your sake and mine), now back to what i was saying, to be completely honest with you, jared wasn't the happiest that i had forgotten about changing the oil. through the course of our discussion, which discussion turned into..do you call it world war three? (it was the type of conversation that one would only hope to have very few times in their life, in which one party was unhappy with the other party's choices, and the other party was extremely unhappy with the other party's choice of words, and in the end, neither party was happy at all.) through the course of our "discussion" words came out of my mouth that were later described (by the other party) as "name calling". yes, words came out of my mouth and i may have said the word j-e-r-k, several times, in an accusatory-type manner. yes, i am guilty of the previous stated crime. i am. i said those things, and they were hurtful. this is the moment where i cue kathleen kelly's famous words (who doesn't feel good after watching you've got mail?) the part where she says:

"an amazing thing happened. i was able, for the first time in my life to say the exact thing i wanted to say at the exact moment i wanted to say it. and of course, afterwards i felt terrible just as you said i would. i was cruel and i'm never cruel. though i can hardly believe what i said mattered to this man. to him, i am just a bug to be crushed. but what if it did? no matter what he's done to me there is no excuse for my behavior."

which truthfully describes exactly how i'm feeling today on this sunny october thursday afternoon, while i sit here, typing on the computer. name calling. i'm a name caller. i've never felt so guilty for anything in my life (and there is a small percentage that statement might be a minor exaggeration, but nonetheless, the point is driven home). i googled "name calling" and read an article about it and its role in politics on wikipedia (and just to be clear, everything that i read on wikipedia, i deem to be true. i just do) which linked me over to an article about "verbal abuse" and that those who are victims of verbal abuse suffer PTSD afterwards and eventually dive into a clinical depresssion, in which they will most likely never recover. well you can imagine my complete and utter disturbia upon reading those things. i must be a lonely, awful, sadist, i thought to myself. i should check into a recovery support place somewhere. i bet they have those locally.

i've been sitting here, pondering about who i am and other things like such as. and that my husband has amazing strengths in areas of which i am weak. and that i myself, have amazing strengths, in the areas of which he is weak. he would never call me a name in his life. ever. it is just not who he is. let me paint you a picture. there is this scenario. the one in which i am driving him up the wall. (married people, single people, any one of you who has been in any sort of a relationship at all, you have already automatically painted your own picture of this exact event, the one in which i am painting for you). and these are the words that come out of mr. jared anderson's mouth, he says "kelli! you areeeeee.. reeeeaaaallly...awesomerightnow!" (the last three words said as though they are one word) and even though i know that isn't what he is really thinking about me, he says it with so much love and patience. he says it with so much consideration for me and my feelings.

and here i am, typing and trying to understand why it is, that i can't be that same way for him. instead i come across as mean and cold, and end up probably giving him a debilitating headache. so my question is for you, readers of my blog, the one that is called 'chronicles of she', is this. what would you do? if you were me? how would you recover your beloved from such a painful and difficult experience, caused by thyself? words spoken can never be retracted, BUT! my mother (who really is a wise old sage, and by profession it has been said that she is an amazing counselor, among other things), my mother has said that no matter what happens, good or bad, it all serves to deepen and enrich your relationship. that is empowering to me and makes me feel hopeful, come what may. so tell me, what do you think of this blog post of mine? this post that is oh so long and likely does not serve to improve the quality of this blog, only the quality of my own life, at best.

in attempting to not excuse myself, i quote billy shakespeare when he said "and oftentimes excusing of a fault doth make the fault the worse by the excuse. "

however he also said,

"but men are men; the best sometimes forget."

things i love this monday.

2011-10-17T14:08:00.000-06:00

best friends, lindsey, heidi and anna with all three of their new hair. hanging out eating treats. oh and how about the creep in the background!

jared eating my homemade tofu pumpkin chocolate bread, and actually liking it. even though his face may not look like it!

ayley and adam coming up over the weekend. yeah it was a two hour train ride from her house to my house, so what. yeah she made me the most amazing wedding gift ever, so what (the words for her gift was from this text message, how thoughtful!). yeah adam diagnosed our d.i. nes games as being worth lots of $$$, so what.

this is for me

2011-10-15T19:41:00.001-06:00

it's so nice to have the eternal truth of God in my life. i'd truly be lost without it. my life would be purposeless. but with it, i know who i am, in an eternal sense. i understand that i have eternal value, my family will be together forever, and i'm truly never alone. i matter to my Heavenly Father.

the second coming

2011-10-12T18:24:00.000-06:00

i just got asked to give the lesson in relief society on sunday, and i can't contain my excitement.

jfdkljfdl;sfja;dsl fkjdskla gjwioegnbdfklb

it's embarrassing how excited i am. i loooooove to share true doctrine with others. i love it.

are you cravin a churro?

2011-10-07T23:53:00.002-06:00

jared was planning on helping his dad

with a big project today but it got cancelled.

i had the day off.

he had the day off.

it was pouring rain.

so after our spanish class

we biked home.

not 15 minutes after we were home

the power went out.

again.

for the third time this week.

so we cozied up in our

warmest clothes and lit candles.

watched the office and

ate costa vida leftovers.

later when the power came back on

we fried up a box of churros.

it had been sitting in our cupboards

for a few weeks and it was time.

mmm.

i love cozy fall days.

at home.

with my husband.

who i love.

haircut

2011-10-04T18:38:00.002-06:00

did i mention i've never cut anyone's hair before? because that changed on saturday when jared let me cut his hair. in between sessions of conference i pulled out the clippers and starting chopping jared's thick curly locks. i won't go into detail about how we scheduled an emergency damage control hair appointment first thing monday morning. at least we had fun doing it, or should i say i had fun. at first jared was really excited for me to cut his hair, but then he wasn't very happy once he realized i had no clue what i was doing. and since it was about five seconds after i shaved off one huge chunk of hair there wasn't really a lot of turning back. i'd say yeah, i'm not a professional, but there have been worse haircuts. but don't worry, it looks great now, once it got that professional touch.

wag more, bark less

2011-10-04T17:59:00.001-06:00

i have to be honest. i've been pretty barky lately. heaven forbid i can't find my textbook right before class or i spill something on my shirt right when i walk out the door. even though these things are justifiably annoying, i want to be the kind of person that handles them in stride, and keeps on smiling rather than snapping. i am excited to strengthen this part of myself so that i can be a more enjoyable me. a couple weeks ago we were driving in the car and i was mad at jared for something (probably something dumb) and we drove past a dry cleaners who had written on their sign the words:

WAG MORE

BARK LESS

i noticed it and said to jared that should be my mantra. he said i should crochet it onto a pillow and it would go viral on pinterest. he's so hilarious. but after that i've been thinking a lot about how i could be more positive and disciplined about choosing to proactively respond to unpleasant situations rather than reactively responding. i know this is a pretty cheesy blog post, but i wanted to get it off my chest. i am going to be a more pleasant person and i am happy about it.

october,

2011-10-04T11:48:00.004-06:00

is anyone ever unhappy to see you? it's not that we don't like september, but you're just so welcome, no matter what. waking up in the wee hours of the morning and hearing thunder crack outside our window is just so dreamy. today i've been enjoying watching the rain drizzle, feeling snuggly in my cozy sweater and staring at ogden's gorgeous mountains, lusting after an autumn hike.

hazel mae

2011-10-03T00:19:00.001-06:00

talk about an adorable baby!

honk if this pic melts your heart!

shayjay love.

2011-10-03T00:05:00.000-06:00

i want to win number four!

go enter to win! ayley is one of the most talented babes around.

friday night update.

2011-09-30T16:48:00.001-06:00

we're off to my first ever mission reunion. i am dying of laughter as jared model walks a cream tweed suit from the d.i. the pants are so tight he can barely breath.

at first we saw that it was best dress and we were like yeah right! and then we were like okaaay. and now we are like ahhhhh yeahhhhh dancin around the house in our best clothes.

and he keeps calling my mission president "mr. millburn."
looking in the mirror and saying "hello mr. millburn, how are you?"
ahahahahah.

wish us luck.

beez!

2011-09-29T16:34:00.003-06:00

winco foods.
they sell local honey.
no bees escaped.
but i bet at certain hours of the day they would.
we always go around midnight.
so i'm sure the bee harvesters aren't working their magic then.

bzzzzzzzzzz.